How He Loves Us

I woke up this morning and the enemy had a hold of my mind more than he has in a LONG time!!!! Not a good way to wake up! I laid there for probably 15 minutes just letting him beat at me. Convincing myself I always mess things up and cant seem to do anything right. Then all of a sudden God steps in and just smiles. For a moment i was a bit confused because i had no idea what happened because I hadnt been praying these mind games away i was just letting them build. Then finally it was all gone, God was there and I was ok. I jumped out of bed (not literally jump, but quickly got up) went to my ihome and just turned some worship on because when I do that the presence of God always seems to thinkin very quickly. I didnt pick anything special just put it on shuffle. The song "He loves Us" by david Crowder came on and im just laying in my living room floor soaking up Gods greatness when a line of the song stuck out like never before......"My heart turns violently inside of my chest i dont have time to maintain these regrets, when i think about the way HE LOVES US!!!" Haha DANG!!!! I began to cry and just thank God for His love for me and no matter what I say or do and no matter what i have done he still loves me!!! yes it seems so simple but sometimes we cant help but think we should of done something differently. I feel like i woke up with a lot of regrets and torn myself up trying to think what i could of done different and just beating my self thinking i mess stuff up all the time. AND of course The most amazing Man i have ever known steps in and shows me that in his eyes I am beautiful and no matter what i do he is one who i can never ever push away no matter how hard i try!!! And if that doesnt spark something in you im sorry because it SO does in me. :) So may this be an encouragement to anyone who may read this that no matter what you may say or do to a person that people may forget what you say and forget what you may do but they never forget how you made them feel. God is the same way no matter what i may say or do in my times where i may drift away for a short period the fact that my love for him still resides in my heart and that makes him happy is ALL he remembers! :) Sorry if this was all over the place! Have an amazing Thursday!!!!! :)

She Will Be Loved

And breathe......I really feel like God is at work in my life right now and i love it but sometimes i wish i could just snap my fingers and jump ahead a few weeks or months and skip all the stages leading up to stuff. But then again its those little stages that make the big stages so amazing! Am i even making sense right now probably not!!! :) I went to work this morning and when i got there they had the WHOLE parking lot blocked off because they are repaving it. Ha needless to say i walked in work and turned around and came right back home. People think were closed so NO one is gonna even try to walk from Lowes to Chilis! Oh well, i need a day to just relax and clean and do laundry and all those things that make my heart happy!!!! Speaking of happy i may sound weird but i seriously look up this movie clip from the movie "Last Song" and watch it over and over. I've probably watched it like 100 times because it makes me smile really big and very happy. Haha i know im weird but its just one of those scenes in a movie that im like i want to have a moment like that! Loser i know! Short and sweet blog. :) But thats all i have to share today is my giddy movie clip because I need to go do something productive. :) Have an AMAZING Wednesday!!! <3>

My New Home! :)

So today I have nothing profound to say but I will express a little of my joy right now due to my HAPPY HAPPY Life! :) Its so hard to believe the transitions I have made over the last 2 months. I have went through some major stuff and feel like I'm finally settling down and figuring out where I'm suppose to be.

I have a long time friend (Aaron Matthews) who is the Senior pastor of a small church in Alma and when I stepped out of Harvest Time and had no direction of where God was taking me I decided to go and check it out. From the moment I walked in the door I felt completely at home. Over the course of a few weeks I have met some of the sweetest most caring people ever. I might add that is probably one of my favorite things about going from a church of 3,000 to a church of like 150 is that you can make great friendships very quickly. 

I have officially MADE the Dilbecks adopt me as there own and can't thank them enough for all they have done. They are the most loving, caring and giving family I have met in a long time!!!!! Its one of those relationships that you know is a complete blessing from God and no other way would you find such a great family. :) I love them SOOOO much!!!! :) Todd is the coach of Alma Football team so even though I went to SHS a little piece of my heart is going out to the Airdales! :) And Bobbie she is like the mother I never had! She makes me laugh a lot so obviously thats one reason to love her but she has made me feel like one of her own and I don't think i'd feel so at home without her!!! <3 

And Aaron (the Pastor) well this sounds bad but I can't think of him without laughing because he is probably one of the most funny/fun people I have met! Ever! Well we met like I dunno 100 years ago but I guess he wasn't funny then because I don't remember it!!! :) And that takes a lot because I am drawn to funny people. And southern people which he so is because I was listening to one of his messages this morning and wanted to quote on my facebook where he said "The only reason "I'm different is because Christ saved my sorry hide!"....but bc I dunno if hide is spelled that way or Hyde and I tried to look it up both ways and its not even a word with the context he used it in so I had to pass! ha :) But on a serious note he is an AMAZING speaker and has a heart for God and it is so evident in everyone of his messages. If I have learned one thing about Aaron over the last few weeks it is that you will never question weather this man is a christian because you can tell so clearly due to the way he rejoices in his relationship with Christ and puts the needs of others before his own. He follows through on his God-given responsibilities and I am amazed at how he does it all, but he does! Aside from that he is a great, FUNNY person and amazing friend and I'm again so blessed to have him in my life.

I have also met two of the sweetest couples through this church. Chris and Magen Brown!!! Chris is the Worpship leader and character of all Razorback parties and Megen is his sweet, beautiful wife who keeps him back somewhat calm! :) Then there is Eric and Tia who just recently got engaged and who I recently learned lives like 30 ft away from me. (Tia, not eric ha) So yah, four very sweet, loving people that I'm looking forward to spending more time with, getting to know and making some life long friendships with. :) 

So yes that is a run down of my new church family! There are so many other people I have met and really love like Herold, the man who promises he's gonna let me ride one of his horses and gives me a hard time if I ever over look him and don't come and talk to him!!!!! :) Ahhh I Just love love love being there. I don't like days that I'm not there or with these people....well I still like everyday but I love days I get to spend time and see these people that make me most happy way more than on days when I don't!!! 

Thats my heart right now and what is most important in my life right!! And I thank God everyday for each and every one of these amazing people He has made a part of my life. I pray that God continues to bless them abundantly because of how much they have blessed me by just becoming a part of this awesome journey I call my life! :)

Have a blessed Monday everyone!!!! :) <3 :)

Lady of Security

I am currently reading a book called "Lady In Waiting-Becoming God's Best While Waiting For Mr. Right" By Jackie Kendall & Debby Jones. Yes the title may sound cheesy but its a very very good book! 

Im actually on my second read through the book and today I read something that made me laugh out loud and I just have to share it with you. The chapter is titled "Lady Of Security". It begins talking about the story of Ruth who was single, young, and widowed. Who must have experienced the lonely longings for the warmth of a husband like most women do at some point in our lives. But Ruth lived in victory over the desire to "man hunt". Oppose to going out and trying to find her future husband in every man she met, she sat still and let God bring her prince to her. She was "A Lady of Security". 

Why do women tend to "go after the guys"?.....Why do women experience difficulty being still and waiting for the man to initiate and develop the relationship? One word: Insecurity! Now I am just as guilty at this like everyone else. In the past I tend to think I was more of the pursuer in a relationship because anymore guys can just be very passive. BUT I did learn my lesson the hard way and now I wouldn't even consider going after a guy.  I mean once he has made his interest clear than yes I believe it becomes a 2 way street but not until it is verbally shown he is interested. I see it this way......if a girl goes after a guy (who doesn't first pursue her) and wins him over, she will end up spending the whole relationship insecure and worried if he still likes her or is still interested. BUT if he is the one who is constantly pursuing from the beginning then it gives a woman that security that he is very interested in her and may not pound out ALL of the insecurity we have as women but I do believe it takes care of most of it. Because get real we are women and when we have really great guys there WILL be times when we worry we may loose him. Its life. What you do with that insecurity is really what will make or break you. 

Ok, off my soapbox ha-ha. So the part of this chapter that seriously made me laugh out loud and just smile at Jesus was this sections.

......."Elizabeth Elliot says she is often asked the question, "What can I do to get him to notice me?" Note carefully the advice she gives.

"My answer is nothing. 'That is, nothing toward the man.

"Don't call him. Don't write a little note with a smiley face or a flower or fish under your signature and put it in his campus mailbox. Don't slide up next to him in the hall and gasp, "I've just got to talk to you!" Don't look woebegone, don't ignore him, don't pursue him, don't do him favors, don't talk about him to nine carefully selected listeners.

"There is one thing you can do: Turn the whole business over to God. (That is so GOOD!!!-cw)

If he's the man God has for you, 'No good thing does He withhold from those who walk upright' (Ps. 84:11). Direct your energies to obedience, not to nailing the man. (This is the BEST part that made me laugh/smile- cw)…. God has His own methods of getting the two of you together. He doesn't need any help or advice from you."………..

Ha- That is sooooooo good!!! That ladies is the way to go. I strongly, strongly believe that if we allow God to hold the key to our heart and emotions He will do so until the day He can give it to the man He has prepared for us. :) (exciting I know!!) God will not allow our hearts to be broken again if we leave it with Him. That’s my biggest issue right now in my own personal life is trusting guys, even men of God. I try and put walls and very, very strong restrictions on myself and my dating life for long periods of time out of fear and protection from being hurt and I’ve just recently had to break down all the walls and let God protect me and give me what I need. He can protect my heart way better than I can. We must trust Him to keep us calm and waiting on His best timing. 

This may seem hard but its not really. You begin all of these things by spending time in God's word. Proverbs 1:33 says to listen to God and live securely. In this we can find out what God is really like. Through His word we also can find what He thinks of us, which if your anything like me its way more than you would have thought. :) Our God is a King and the female child of a King is a princess. Act like the valuable princess you are, and plan to be treated as royalty!

Don't allow insecurity to motivate you to maneuver or manipulate your relationships. Instead of hunting for a husband/boyfriend, concentrate on becoming a woman of excellence. Wait for your heavenly Father to bring about His perfect plans for you. Got it?? :) 

Learning to sit still,

Resting in His will,

Confident to abide,

With Him by my side,

Resisting manipulation,

Waiting only for His stipulations.

JMK

10 Random Facts

1. I rode a lama once when i was in 5th Grade! .....ha true story! I lived out in the country at this time and we had a Lama named Benson. One day i decided i was going to ride him so i went and found a 5 gallon bucket turned it upside down next to Benson and climbed on his bare back. One little tap and off he ran with me on his back. By the time we made it to the middle of a tall grass field I started to wonder if he was ever gonna stop running so I got scared and jumped off. My parents ended up calling an ambulance and I had to go to the ER. I ended up with a cracked tailbone and walked with a limp the rest of the summer. All my older sisters guy friends called me "Lama Mama" all summer! :(

2. I've been driving for 10 maybe 11 years and have already had 9 cars! .....Spoiled in HS!

3. I love it when people say my name but i hardly ever say other peoples names. I tend to use nicknames for people a lot. I call all baby boys "Bubuh" and girls of any age "Sister". And not sister as in "Sister Amanda" or "Sister Sarah".....Just sister because....i don't really know why but i call all girls sister.

4. I want a puppy SOOOOOO BAD!!!! I have always heard that you start with a plant and if you can keep it alive, go to a fish, then a puppy, then a baby! :) ha-ha I've done the fish and the plant thing and now im ready to move on to the puppy stage! Im so tempted every time i see one now that i live somewhere that i can have one. But its an apartment and i'd feel bad leaving him inside if i was gone for a few hours and not being able to let him go outside and play when its nice out. Soooo ill just have to wait till I someday get a house or till someone else gets a house and puppy can live with them. :)

5. Im watching the Today show right now (well not watching but its on) and they have "Cosmos 50 Best Potential Boyfriends, 1 from each state) and I didn't see a 1 that was attractive. Then again i'm very very picky! Tall, dark and handsome and over 6'3!!! Otherwise I disagree! (Oh besides Wentworth Miller he's only 6'1 but he's a exception! :)......and YES i know looks arent everything! Looks are toward the bottom of my must have list! CHRISTIAN and Funny lead the way!

6. I actually LOVE LOVE LOVE my job! I miss being in ministry 24-7 but i think i now work in one of the biggest mission fields out there. Not only can God work through me with my employees but just random people who come in Chili's to eat. I have shared my faith SOOO many times to just random people who come in to eat. Ha I will talk to ANYONE who will talk back! :) But i have the best boss and make really really good money.

7. I have to pay my personal property taxes today and call me weird but I wish I was paying them on a House and not just my car! Im very independent and even though it cost a lot of money to be independent i LOVE it!!! :)

8. I LOVE Jeans!! A Lot!!! I have over 50 pairs of jeans!!! Sad I Know, but jeans are one of those things that can make or break your attire for the day! Easy to dress up or dress down! I love them! :)

9. Part of me freaks out at this point in life when I meet really good guys! Ha I probably want to get married more than most but I freak out when it comes down to it because divorce is so highly rated these days. Christian or not more people are getting divorced and cheating more than ever. Sad! :( .....UGH The Today Show just said "Is staying with the same person for life normal?....Is monogamy Natural?.....1/3 of marriages end in divorce within 10 years......" .....Exactly my point!......But it did say It is a Choice! So true! Love is a choice not an emotion! :)

10. I LOVE to Laugh! A LOT!!!! My stomach is sore today because I laughed so much at work last night! I think that the worst day can be turned amazing just by spending a little time with someone who is funny!!! I Love being around people who are funny! I mean I AM funny and im always around myself and i do make myself laugh sometimes ;) but i'd much rather have someone else make me laugh!!! My favorite people in my life I can honestly say its because they make me laugh!!! :)

Forgive me future Husband! :)

So im a girl who loves nice things! Always tend to spend a lot of money on the shoes and clothes (mostly jeans) side of things, but I love having nice things. I might add that im not spoiled!!! I work hard to get the things I want and pay cash for EVERYTHING!!! Thank you Dave Ramsey! :) BUT recently I moved back out on my own, and in the past im content with just solid colors that match for bedding, not this time. Im almost 26 years old and decided im gonna go all out this time! So i went out and spent way to much money on a bedding set! I nice one, which i refer to really nice expensive bedding as "Married Couples Bedding" bc you just dont have stuff this nice typically till you get married. So if i was married right now I would probably be in BIG trouble! :) Ha I say i'd be in trouble because most of the money I spent was on the pillows, and not the ones you lay on, the ones that make the bed look good once its made! :) ha i have NEVER done that before. I love it though, but it wasnt cheap, but I look at it this way! I may have spent a few hundred dollars  just on pillows to make my bed look good but better now then later when I will have a husband to give me a hard time about it. So one thing that will last and by the time I get married he will of forgiven me for all this money I spent just to make the bed look good! :) So please enjoy my new picture of my "Married Couples Bedding" that yes im aware needs to be steamed but I was so excited I wanted to see how it looked!!!! Enjoy! :)

Proud To Be A "Fruitcake"! :)

So last night at church we watched a video by motivational speaker named Louie Giglio. He is a speaker at Passion City Church in Atlanta and Founder of Passion Movement. The Passion Conference is a conference for college aged students to experience an awakening experience with God.

The video we watched last night was called "Fruitcake And Ice Cream". Fruitcake and Ice Cream: An Unlikely Collision of Friendship and Grace is the message heard by students around the world on the seventeen-city Passion World Tour. Sometimes the best things in life are those we're not even sure we're looking for at the time, but those we realize we can't live without in the end. That's the story of Ashley, a somewhat typical college senior--loving life, partying hard and trying to balance it all with success in the classroom. Disengaged from God and turned off by most Christians she knew, unexpected events turned Ashley's world upside down and brought a new roommate for her final semester at the University of Florida. Unpolished, and marked by unscripted authenticity, Ashley's personal journal entries provide the backdrop for Fruitcake and Ice Cream, a message that breathes hope for the spiritually searching while providing a massive kick-start for those within the Church who carry the unrivaled story of God's grace and truth in a darkened world.

By the middle of the story of this girl Ashley's life I sudden realized that was me, that was my story in a way. Basically this Girl is in a very unhealthy relationship with a guy that she just cant bring herself to turn away from because she cares so much. She finally realizes that God can and does except anyone no matter their sin or circumstance. Basically within a matter of weeks this girl gives her life over to God. Without ruining the story she only gets so far her walk with Christ before she gets in a car accident and passes away. By this time point I am completely heart broken as this girls story. 1. Because of God's Grace. It blows me away at how much grace we really do have in life and not a one of us is worthy of it all. 2. Because that is one of many times i have heard of someone coming to Christ and passing away shortly after. That is AMAZING and if anything shows how real God is and how much He loves us and that even if it takes our whole life here on earth he is constantly fighting for us to come to Him. 3. And the biggest thing that got to me was knowing my own story and how i could relate.

In May of 2005 I got in a horrible car accident 2 different times that I should of never lived to tell the story, But Gods protection was visibly over my life. Thinking of this story of Ashley and my own story it broke my heart because I too could of be takin from this life but God chose to keep me here. Our God is a gentleman, he does not force himself on us, he reviles himself and waits for us to come to Him. The night after the 2nd car accident was the night I gave up life to my worldly ways and gave my life over to God. I didn't deserve to make it out of those 2 or multiple other incidents i've experienced in my life. God had other plans for me and was protecting me because He knew i would soon be turning to Him. My life has never been the same since. I ask myself now, am i living my life fully? Am I allowing God to use me to my full potential? Am i sharing the love God clearly has for me by saving my life multiple times to those around me? 

This story awakens my heart to how much God really does love and care about me/us. I could of lost my life many, many times between Jan 2004 and July of 2005 but i am still here today, serving God with all I have and always wishing I could give Him more myself and my life.

We take life for granted. We never know when our time is going to come and our life here on earth will be over. May we stop today and just praise God for our life and time here on earth because we are not promised tomorrow. I love my life so much and even though its not always easy I know with all my heart that im not doing it alone. And where the "Fruitcake" comes in? Basically this girl was referred to as fruitcake because she was a Christian. Sometimes i wonder how many people may think i'm odd or a "Fruitcake" because of my religious ways. But just like this story i'm willing to do whatever it takes to expose God to those around me even if it takes years for someone to see how real God is, it may be your life that makes them want something they may not have, Jesus Christ. So as we go about this day/week/month/year may we continue to show the love of christ in all that we do.

You show me your redeemed life and I might be inclined to believe in your redeemer.
--Heine