Text Messaging!

I hope my new way of getting people to know when I update my blog works. Haha but then again I still wish I could come up with a better way of doing it besides a text message to those of you who I know in fact read my blog but as of now thats all I have until I return to the facebook world..... if I ever do. I say that because I am having a really tough time with texting. I find it so easy, and when I get emotional, even more so.  


First off I want to apologize to anyone / everyone I text to as I know while you may love many of my bright, funny texts, it has also been an easy escape for me to not deal with some tougher issues. I can honestly admit that when things go wrong I basically loose it with the text. I make jokes about how the iphone has a function called a "text bomb" where you can instantly send around 600 text to a persons cell phone all at once......the joke I make is that I could seriously text bomb someone MYSELF if you wanted me to, and that is NO exaggeration. Its awful and it seriously hurts me that I do that to people sometimes, and most the time its people I really care about. :/ 


I can't recall when I picked up this awful addiction but I know its a bad one. I know part of the outrageous texting sometimes gets out of hand due to the fact that I can not STAND when people don't respond because in my head I feel ignored. In my mind I think that if I take the time to apologize or say something that is meaningful to any extent I'd like to know you got it and somewhat appreciate it. Ha also!!! I have a expectation I put on people to respond to everything I say due to the fact that I don't want to feel as if my words are invaluable, meaningless or taken lightly. Maybe insecurity is a bit of my problem? :/ I am what one would refer to as in love with instant gratification. I heard once that we live in a microwave world, we want everything fast and right now. Thats me! I want you to respond to me right away and have constant contact with people I enjoy talking to! WAKE UP Cecilia Your only REAL Constant Contact in life SHOULD be Jesus, But is it really? I am being TOTALLY transparent  and honest right now!


I can honestly say 99% of the time in my mind I'm just trying to make things right with people or to fix whatever is going on, but in reality I always make them way worse. So trust me I have pure intentions but that does not make it okay. A friend recently made the comment of how he liked it better when phones were meant to stay at home. I kinda wish that was the case still today because I'd probably have a few more friends. Sad but true. 


You would never really think of texting as an addiction, but it is.  At least I think it is.  I just did a search online and can see it is a highly debated subject, and a lot of people have a lot of different opinions.  Some even say it’s a mental illness, which I find a little harder to understand.  So let’s backtrack and review standard definitions of both mental illness and addiction.

mental illness:

n.

Any of various conditions characterized by impairment of an individual’s normal cognitive, emotional, or behavioral functioning, and caused by social, psychological, biochemical, genetic, or other factors, such as infection or head trauma. Also called emotional illness, mental disease, mental disorder.

addiction:

1.

a. Compulsive physiological and psychological need for a habit-forming substance: a drug used in the treatment of heroin addiction.

b. An instance of this: a person with multiple chemical addictions.

2.

a. The condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with or or involved in something.

b. An instance of this: had an addiction for fast cars.

OK.  Really?  Fast cars as a mental illness?  Religion as a mental illness?  You get "chemical brain highs" from a variety of things – just because that happens, does it mean it is an addiction or mental ‘illness’?  Not to mention illness gives off such a negative connotation (do we have a heart illness?).  It sounds weak and soft, when in fact brain issues are quite serious, medical, and biological and should be treated as such.


Back to my point; texting. For me, the differentiating factor of addiction is when it interrupts your daily life and creates negative consequences for you and others.  That is really the significant factor.  


Negative consequences.


I am pretty clear that for me, texting is an addiction.  I use it as a way to communicate negative feelings when I am upset – which generally just makes everything worse.  I am also impulsive and my mind works very, very quickly.  So I might have solved a problem ten minutes ago, but come up with a new solution 10 minutes later.  When I communicate this to others (whose brains maybe aren’t on such warp speed) I am confusing, inconsistent, and perceived ‘crazy.’  After reviewing some recent texts I can see why (but really, it all made sense to me at the time and I had a different tone!). No excuses, though.  The problem I have is that texting is so EASY and so right there.  I think part of it is possibly due to past experiences. I have a great fear that if I don't fix things NOW I may never get the chance to do so again if they decide to just walk out of my life due to whatever circumstances. (Which in reality is out of my control and I should never want anyone in my life who doesn't want me in theirs but thats another story) But once again I have created problems in my life because of it, so I am vowing to stop. The bible clearly states that anything in excess is a sin and I can honestly say that my facebook and texting have become a MAJOR sin in my own personal life. 

I think many of us today when we think of sin we think of sexual immorality, murder, stealing the list goes on and on but sin is so much deeper than that. The bible describes sin as the breaking, or transgression, of Gods law. It is also defined as disobedience or rebellion against God, as well as independence from God.While the basic origin of sin is unclear, we know that it came into the world when the serpent, Satan, tempted Adam and Eve and they disobeyed God. The essence of the problem stemmed from the human desire to be like God. All sin, therefore, has its roots in idolatry—the attempt to put something or someone in the place of the Creator. Most often, that someone is one's own self. While God allows sin, he is not the author of sin. All sins are an offense to God and they separate us from him (Isaiah 59:2). 

Which bring me to the question is all sin the same? Is my excessive texting just as wrong as murder or stealing? The Bible seems to indicate that there are degrees to sin—that some are more detestable to God than others. However, when it comes to the eternal consequences of sin, they are all the same. Every sin, every act of rebellion, leads to condemnation and eternal death (Romans 6:23). All that to say yes texting and murder my be different degrees of sin but they are all displeasing to God and cause separation. 

All in all I have yet to decide how much is to much and where exactly I need to draw the line because I do think completely getting rid of my texting would take away some of the moments in life I often cherish. Example: My dad will randomly tell me I am blessed, or that he Loves me. Or girls that I mentor send me random messages telling me they love me or thanking me for being there for them; things that may be harder for some to say out loud. And things like that always seem to come at the right time, just when I need to hear them. So this is something I am in deep prayer about because I refuse to let something so petty ruin another friendship in my life. There comes a point when you have to decide is this really worth it? And personally for me texting is not worth the issues that have traveled along with it. 

And what about real life communication? texting has to ruin it to some extent!!! Real relationships can not possibly be build through text messaging. To me if you build a relationship with someone through text of the opposite sex is it really any different than online dating? ha-ha im not sure it is. Besides you can not judge a persons true character through texting, there is no emotion and you can't even begin to truly understand how the person is coming across. I mean seriously I know I would personally like to sit face to face and talk to someone ANYDAY over texting but like i said we live in a microwave world where we are all impatient and want to talk to whoever RIGHT NOW!!!!! Anyways i'll stop now before I get going again! Thats my thoughts on texting, hope someone got something from it even if it was only a explanation of why I text so dang much, which is because I can honestly admit I had a serious problem with it!! :) Ok USE to text so dang much!!! :) So be prepared to see a texting change in this girls life from this day forward. 

Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you all have a blessed Tuesday!!! <3